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Archive for August 2014

Meeting God in a dream

Here is the content of a dream I just had (it’ 3:20 AM and I just woke up from my dream, had to write this down).

We’re having a gathering (friends? professional?). I am also due to participate in some sort of quiz tonight.
I am going to the airport to pick up someone and get them to that gathering (Anton? Antony?).
I pick them up, reach the gathering, take the quiz.

Then, I live through a SECOND VERSION of these exact events, while still remembering the first version of events.

I arrive at the airport three minutes sooner. I talk to my friend about this experience, mention that this is the second time these events are happening for me. We talk about it. I tell him that I remember already taking the quiz tonight, even though in this reality I haven’t yet taken the quiz.
I tell him I expect the general flow of events to be pretty similar to the first version, although there might be slight changes. I don’t remember all the details of the quiz, but heck, just being in a different mental state when doing it may mean my results in the quiz this time will be different.

We reach the gathering, and are about to get started with the business of the day.
Then one of the participants, Pasha, talks to me and asked me how the pickup from the airport went.
I tell him about the two versions of events I experienced.

He asks me how are things with my life.
I tell him the truth – the last year has been a challenge.
In fact, I admit, the last several years, I have been restless, never finding my center, switching from occupation to occupation. My personal life has also known its share of turmoil.

We talk about my next planned phase in life – having children with my wife.
He asks – “Is it possible that you are getting near?”
“Near what?”, I ask. I already know in my heart the answer is yes, even if I’m not sure what is being asked.

When you have children, are you ready to have a loving relationship with them?
To love them?
To be loved by them?
Or will you see them as a burdon, something to hinder and restrain your life? Just another thing to “manage”?

(My wife and I have been contemplating having children for a while. I can’t deny having fears that children will be a weight on my freedom, although I want to believe I can feel and focus on the love and not on the weight).

In my dream, I know all the answers.
I am ready to know how to live, how to love, what to do with my life.
I have no doubts.

Perhaps even I am ready to have a lingering state of precognition – to know multiple realities and choose the ‘best’ one, to learn lessons from ‘potential timelines’ and apply them in my real timeline.
In my dream, I have no questions, I am confident, content and strong.

… and then I woke up. The sensation of the dream was so strong, I just had to write the above text before it faded away.

A few times in the last year I’ve had waking ephiphanies like that.
A sensation that All Is Well, I’ve Found My Place, There is Nothing to Fear.
It’s a feeling I can only describe as Connection with GOD.
And then, after a while, the feeling goes away.
And it’s so hard, dealing with the fact that this feeling is temporary. Not feeling like this, after feeling like this, is hard for me.

I’ve never been religious in my life, always the atheist, the realist … but after experiencing this feeling multiple times, I find myself longing for this feeling. For me, it’s been about six months since I last felt that. This is the first time I remember having this feeling while dreaming (the other times I was awake).

I usually don’t write my dreams, but I knew I had to write this dream down before it faded away.
It reminds me of the contents of the book Conversation with God (a book which I highly recommend and identify with!)
The next logical step after writing the above text was publishing it in my blog.
I’m also going to get in touch with the friends I remember from my dream, and check whether they have some sort of message for me.

Have you ever had such feelings in your life? A feeling you have found your place, know all the answers, are in a complete state of Flow, have no fear, on doubt, are Connected?
Do you know the feeling I talk about?

I’ve lived for 32 years without ever experiencing that … and in my 33th year had multiple separate experiences like that … it’s perfectly ok if you haven’t. If you did happen to experience something like what I’ve described, please do share it with me, either in the comment section or in a private message.